I haven't been around in awhile. First I got a stomach virus, then a cold, then I had two teeth removed. Wonderful.
I got a new upstairs neighbor this week, and I had to school her on not making too much noise after 10pm. I kind of felt for her though, she's young, moving all this stuff by herself with her mother. Damn, at least I had some men to help me, and I didn't have to sleep with them either. I guess stuff was different back in the 80's. Anyway, she seemed like a nice young woman. I have to remember what I was like in my twenties, and then I think, heck, I wouldn't want to live next door to me either.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The green eyed monster
In 12 step programs the way to stay sober is doing service. Service is one person helping another. That is the way you stay sober, helping others. If one person stays sober it helps us all. That's true. Still, that's not the way people really feel.
Years ago I was at a 12 step meeting. A woman who was celebrating 10 years was speaking. She was about 38 years old. Her story was great. She was married and was having issues with her husband and wanted to leave him when she got sober. Her sponsor convinced her to stay and she did and they worked it out. She closed stating that she was four month pregnant and happy.
Everybody applauded. But the mood in the room changed. There were a lot of single thirty and forty something women at this meeting. During the break, a lot of them expressed that this particular story made them feel "less than." Like, "why does SHE have a husband and a baby on the way and I don't?"
That's how people really feel. Sure you're taught that you should be happy for others, but do you really feel that way?
I believe that is the main reason things are so messed up in this country. People don't want "other people" to have things they don't, even if they really need them. "Why should so and so's child get a free college education?" Never mind that the person questioning this makes half a million dollars and can afford to send an entire village to school. It's always, why does THAT PERSON have what I don't?
Years ago I was at a 12 step meeting. A woman who was celebrating 10 years was speaking. She was about 38 years old. Her story was great. She was married and was having issues with her husband and wanted to leave him when she got sober. Her sponsor convinced her to stay and she did and they worked it out. She closed stating that she was four month pregnant and happy.
Everybody applauded. But the mood in the room changed. There were a lot of single thirty and forty something women at this meeting. During the break, a lot of them expressed that this particular story made them feel "less than." Like, "why does SHE have a husband and a baby on the way and I don't?"
That's how people really feel. Sure you're taught that you should be happy for others, but do you really feel that way?
I believe that is the main reason things are so messed up in this country. People don't want "other people" to have things they don't, even if they really need them. "Why should so and so's child get a free college education?" Never mind that the person questioning this makes half a million dollars and can afford to send an entire village to school. It's always, why does THAT PERSON have what I don't?
BACK
So I went on vacay for two weeks to the Caribbean, came home and caught a nasty stomach bug which I'm not over yet. Ugh. The vacation was nice. I like going on cruises, you can get a good deal going on them. Sure they may be expensive up front, but if you know how to play the game, you can get all kinds of stuff for not a lot of money. Plus there's entertainment, movies and all types of stuff all included!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I have to remember....
...that some people just aren't outgoing. It doesn't make them strange, weird, or serial killers.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Something I realize
I do NOT like the woman I work with, at all and you know what? That's okay. She's not my cup of tea. She comes into work, does her job, doesn't talk to anyone and stays to herself. That's not my thing but if it works for her, cool. But the fact that I don't like her doesn't mean that I can't work with her. It doesn't mean that I have to walk up to her and say, "you suck bitch." It just is. I can not like someone and not react. And that's pretty damn good.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Boundaries
Boundaries are very important. Without them we'd be like a person with an unlocked door in a bad neighborhood. I have learned that some people have very high boundaries while others have lower. Neither is bad or good, it just works for each person.
The woman I work next to has rather high boundaries; higher than mine. To her, she's here to work. She doesn't make small talk, she doesn't engage people in conversation. So for her the boundaries are high and I'm sure that works for her. Some people really have to be that way because they can get confused. You know what that looks like, a person you know on the job suddenly wants to be your best friend and wants to hang out with you on the off time. If you do that, then how do you act? What if you're a drinker? What if you embarrass yourself around them? Will they tell other people at work? Will they tell the boss? What if you're the boss?
The thing is, people need human connection, it's nice to be connected to others, however as you get older, you learn that there are some things you can't share with everybody; there are parts of yourself you have to keep buried around some people. I know a lot of folks in the self-help field say, "you're as sick as your secrets." True. But there is a time and a place for everything, including secrets.
The woman I work next to has rather high boundaries; higher than mine. To her, she's here to work. She doesn't make small talk, she doesn't engage people in conversation. So for her the boundaries are high and I'm sure that works for her. Some people really have to be that way because they can get confused. You know what that looks like, a person you know on the job suddenly wants to be your best friend and wants to hang out with you on the off time. If you do that, then how do you act? What if you're a drinker? What if you embarrass yourself around them? Will they tell other people at work? Will they tell the boss? What if you're the boss?
The thing is, people need human connection, it's nice to be connected to others, however as you get older, you learn that there are some things you can't share with everybody; there are parts of yourself you have to keep buried around some people. I know a lot of folks in the self-help field say, "you're as sick as your secrets." True. But there is a time and a place for everything, including secrets.
Friday, November 25, 2011
I'll try again
let's try this again. Black Friday sucks! People need to stop shopping!
The problem with Black Friday is that it works. People shop. Today on Fifth Avenue, people were shopping and it wasn't even 7am! Why when you can go online? Is it an addiction like crack? Is it an adrenalin rush? Maybe.
Why do people do this? Why do we put ourselves through this every year? Why do we fall for the stores same old nonsense? The stores can have great sales because their staff is paid below minimum wage, plus they have to come to work at ungodly hours, and miss their Thanksgivings. But we sheeple don't think about that. All we can think of is getting our flat screen TV's for $100. But you know what? I don't have a flat screen TV, not one and I'm okay. I manage to live.
What if you had only an hour to live? What would be your last thoughts? Would they be, "Oh, I wish I had taken advantage of that sale?" or would it be, "Gee, I wish I had spent more time with my family/friends/loved ones."
The problem with Black Friday is that it works. People shop. Today on Fifth Avenue, people were shopping and it wasn't even 7am! Why when you can go online? Is it an addiction like crack? Is it an adrenalin rush? Maybe.
Why do people do this? Why do we put ourselves through this every year? Why do we fall for the stores same old nonsense? The stores can have great sales because their staff is paid below minimum wage, plus they have to come to work at ungodly hours, and miss their Thanksgivings. But we sheeple don't think about that. All we can think of is getting our flat screen TV's for $100. But you know what? I don't have a flat screen TV, not one and I'm okay. I manage to live.
What if you had only an hour to live? What would be your last thoughts? Would they be, "Oh, I wish I had taken advantage of that sale?" or would it be, "Gee, I wish I had spent more time with my family/friends/loved ones."
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